Surprise romance and drama.

Hi all. Today was supposed to be a break, but it ended in a lot of stress. :(

Last night I ended up cleaning for three and a half hours in preparation for moving out of my dorm next week. I also finished a paper for one of my classes. Only one paper left! Today I was able to go to all of my classes, which is wonderful! ☺ After class I went to the store and got supplies for a big surprise I had planned for Kolton. He's been working a lot and just started summer classes, so I decided to surprise him. I made us a really nice dinner (pasta and garlic bread with milk and sparkling grape juice!) and I picked us up two pieces of cheesecake for dessert. When he came over after work, I was waiting for him in a beautiful black velvet dress with a pearl necklace and heels, with dinner all ready to eat spread out on the floor on top of a blanket (I don't have a table) and with soft music playing, all lit by the multi-colored Christmas lights I have strung around my dorm. It was very relaxing and romantic. He was so surprised! We definitely needed it, we haven't really had time for romance since we first started dating because so much has happened. It was extremely refreshing. I like surprising him. He deserved it too, he does so much for me. ♥

Then I got a text message from my youngest sister, Shelly, saying that my mom was in the ER. After waiting for a while, they found out that it is viral bronchitis. They're going to keep her overnight just to be careful. She's getting breathing treatments every four hours. I just hope she's going to be okay... I worry so much.

I'm flaring, again. I only have 8 days left of school and 35 days until my surgery. I'm just so fed up with my health that I want to scream. Tomorrow morning I think I'm going to try to go for a walk... We'll see how that goes. Tomorrow I'm going with Kolton to the library and I'm going to work on a research paper while he's at his job there. I have no classes tomorrow, so hopefully I'll get to relax a bit. It's supposed to thunderstorm, yuck!

Sleepless Nights...

I'm really tired. I barely slept last night, I spent the entire night tossing and turning. Kolton was a sweetheart and talked to me for quite a while on the phone, which helped. I woke up this morning in extreme pain, again. I feel like this is never going to end and that I just can't catch a break. My entire back is very tight and sore. I'm unable to move enough to get to classes again. I don't know how in the world I'm going to get through the rest of this term. 23 more days until I'm out of classes for the summer, and 50 days until my ACL Reconstruction surgery. When I checked my email this morning, I saw that my chronic illness counselor had emailed me, telling me she's unable to meet with us (Kolton & I) this week... I haven't seen her since April 29th. I was really looking forward to the meeting this week, I really need to talk about this flare and I don't want to burden Kolton with it.

My sleep medicine is finally in! I had to mail-order all of my upkeep medications, and they have been delayed... But they're finally here! I'll finally be able to sleep again. ☺ For sleep, I take 25mg of Elavil. It really helps me.

I don't know what to do with myself right now. Kolton is working until at least 5pm (or did he start at 5pm? I can't remember anymore), so he won't be here to help me until then. I can't get up to go to classes... I guess that means it's another day spent wasted. I'm going to try to study, but I'm rather foggy and I know that I'm just going to get really frustrated from not being able to remember anything. Oh well.

Flares and fogs.

Today I feel just exhausted. Yesterday really seems to have taken a toll on me... It was very emotionally stressful. I'm not feeling that well. I keep coughing and I have a migraine. I'm really tired of being sick. This flare has been going on for over two months now. That is ridiculous! My fog has been really bad.

I'm so tired of finding shoes in the fridge or my textbooks with my dishes. I just want to be normal for once. I'm really tired of having to limit my activities so I don't hurt myself or so I don't pay for it later. I just want a chance to be able to live normally! Blahhhh.

I am just fed up with all of this. I have been losing most of my friends because I don't have the energy to keep up friendships or people don't understand that I can't always be there. Oh well...

On a happier note, that picture is the caricature that Kolton and I got yesterday. ☺We're so dorky, but I love it.

“I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much."

This morning I woke up in extreme pain. My back and legs made me scream because it hurt so much. It took me over an hour to roll over so I could email my professors. My significant other, Kolton, came over as soon as he was done with a final. He is such a sweetheart. He takes such good care of me. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him. He stayed with me and kept me company until a few hours ago, when he had to leave for work. I'm so lucky that he loves me so.

I become very pessimistic when it gets this bad. It's very hard to think positive. Right now I'm laying in bed, eating chocolate he brought me and watching Alladin on TV. I'm supposed to meet up with a friend and a tutor in an hour to study music theory. I really need the help, but I'm not sure that I can get there. They're meeting across the street, but I really don't know. I'm going to do my best to get there.

I'm going to go rest some more before the study session. I'm hoping I can make it!

*Gentle hugs to everyone*