Sleepless Nights...

I'm really tired. I barely slept last night, I spent the entire night tossing and turning. Kolton was a sweetheart and talked to me for quite a while on the phone, which helped. I woke up this morning in extreme pain, again. I feel like this is never going to end and that I just can't catch a break. My entire back is very tight and sore. I'm unable to move enough to get to classes again. I don't know how in the world I'm going to get through the rest of this term. 23 more days until I'm out of classes for the summer, and 50 days until my ACL Reconstruction surgery. When I checked my email this morning, I saw that my chronic illness counselor had emailed me, telling me she's unable to meet with us (Kolton & I) this week... I haven't seen her since April 29th. I was really looking forward to the meeting this week, I really need to talk about this flare and I don't want to burden Kolton with it.

My sleep medicine is finally in! I had to mail-order all of my upkeep medications, and they have been delayed... But they're finally here! I'll finally be able to sleep again. ☺ For sleep, I take 25mg of Elavil. It really helps me.

I don't know what to do with myself right now. Kolton is working until at least 5pm (or did he start at 5pm? I can't remember anymore), so he won't be here to help me until then. I can't get up to go to classes... I guess that means it's another day spent wasted. I'm going to try to study, but I'm rather foggy and I know that I'm just going to get really frustrated from not being able to remember anything. Oh well.

Flares and fogs.

Today I feel just exhausted. Yesterday really seems to have taken a toll on me... It was very emotionally stressful. I'm not feeling that well. I keep coughing and I have a migraine. I'm really tired of being sick. This flare has been going on for over two months now. That is ridiculous! My fog has been really bad.

I'm so tired of finding shoes in the fridge or my textbooks with my dishes. I just want to be normal for once. I'm really tired of having to limit my activities so I don't hurt myself or so I don't pay for it later. I just want a chance to be able to live normally! Blahhhh.

I am just fed up with all of this. I have been losing most of my friends because I don't have the energy to keep up friendships or people don't understand that I can't always be there. Oh well...

On a happier note, that picture is the caricature that Kolton and I got yesterday. ☺We're so dorky, but I love it.