Stress Relief

Life has been extremely stressful recently. There has been a lot of fighting in my home and I'm to blame for it. I'm really struggling with my depression lately and I've been very apathetic to everything. That isn't going over too well with my family. I understand completely why they are upset, but all I want to do lately is cry. I can't even do that. I just feel empty. My neurologist doubled my Zoloft from 50mg to 100mg a day in hopes that it will help. I really hope it does! I just can't live like this any more.

I do have really great news!  The steroid shots seemed to have finally helped. My muscles are way more relaxed and less painful. It is such a relief! I was really worried that they weren't going to help and I went through all that pain. I am so happy they worked!

I have been doing Tai Chi and yoga again, which always help my stress levels. I have also been meditating. Last night I sat out on the deck staring at the stars while listening to a Harry Potter audio book. It's amazing what a difference the little things can make to a person's outlook. Here's hoping things continue to perk up a bit!

Today has been wonderful too, which has really helped me. Kolton and I had a lovely date. We're going to my friend Crystal's house tonight for a get-together which will be fun. I'm really happy things are going well between Kolton and me. I really love him. I am honestly the luckiest woman alive to have such a caring and supportive man who loves me this much.

Yesterday I saw the chiropractor again. It went well. He explained my X-rays to me and I got a copy of them. Then he adjusted parts of my spine. It didn't hurt and it actually made me feel a bit better. I feel like a lot of pressure is off of my back now! Afterwards, they used a TENS unit on me, which helped quite a bit! I also laid on a roller table that massaged my back. It felt so good. After the session I was slightly sore but not that badly. Today I am feeling okay. My knee is feeling unstable so I've had it wrapped for most of the day, which helps a tiny bit.

Things have been stressful. I've been trying to make sure I relax... I haven't been sleeping well because of the stress. I don't know how to fix all of this. I feel that no matter what I do it won't help. I just wish that I had a job and that I was capable of working... That would fix quite a bit of it. It's so hard trying to make ends meet without asking my parents for money. I feel so guilty about it all. It's not my fault that this happened, but I still feel like it is. I can't really go out because I don't want to ask for money, I don't really buy anything, and if I do go out, Kolton pays. I feel so bad. Blah.

On a lighter note, the vertigo is gone. I haven't had it in a few days now. I'm still being cautious, but I'm quite pleased. Only 2 1/2 weeks left until surgery...