Mom's Surgery

Mom's chemo pills haven't been working, so the doctor has decided that she needs to go back onto IV chemo. Right now she is getting her port put back in. She got her first port removed about nine months ago because of a blood clot. She starts back on chemo on Thursday. I am freaking out... I just don't know what to feel. I'm so scared my mom is going to die. I know that she is doing better, but it still terrifies me.

I've been crying a lot lately. Stress is just overwhelming me. My eye twitch came back this morning... My rash is getting worse. Pain levels have skyrocketed due to weather and stress. Ugh...

Please keep my mom and my family in your thoughts/prayers...

Stress and Depression Aren't a Good Mix...

I'm so sorry I have just kind of dropped off of the earth recently... Life has been difficult... Not as difficult as it could be, but I have been struggling a lot. The previous anti-depressant I was on, Zoloft, backfired on me and my depression increased at least doublefold. My doctor took me off of it and started me on Pristiq about 3 1/2 weeks ago. Four days ago I broke out into a rash. It is on my arms, legs, and now my face. It is so itchy! My depression hasn't really gotten any better... All I want to do is lay in bed. I have no interest in anything else. I have been going on cleaning sprees and forcing myself to go out just so I can try to get myself happier... It is a momentary distraction. It is getting harder and harder to get myself to leave my bed. I don't even have the energy to cry much. I just don't want to do this any more. I just want to be done... I see my doctor next week and I pray that he can fix this. I know I should call and tell him about the rash, but I know they'll tell me to stop the medicine... But what if it starts working that day or the next...?